Lately I've been noticing that a lot of my patients are struggling in the areas of self-confidence and effective communication. I decided to do some of my own reading to discover how I could serve as a positive influence in their road to success. The author of the book Self Confience (Paul McGee) makes it very clear that whether or not you have the confidence, the motivation, and the finances to fulfil your dreams, you always need a team to run alongside you and support you until the finish. He describes 4 kinds of people that are present in a support team and how they can help you achieve your goals:
1. THE CHEERLEADER
This is someone who seeks to encourage you by building you up to everyone you meet. They tell others about all your triumphs and never seem to notice the shortcomings that you might focus on. When you are feeling down, they might not always understand the exact situation you are going through, but they will still help to pick you back up.
The downside of a cheerleader is that they don't always contribute to your self-development because they are constantly telling you how great you are. They have great enthusiasm to get help you get on your feet, but they don't really know how to get you where you need to go.
2. THE CHALLENGER
We all have these kind of people in our lives, and especially in our families. These are the people who question your motives, and your plans to get there. Their intention is not to discourage you, but to raise questions of things you may never have considered. It's important to use these questions to your advantage, but if you are not confident in your goals, a challenger can really bring you down. Choose to surround yourself with this type of support when you are feeling optimistic and have a strong sense of what you want. This person is going to be essential in helping you create a flawless plan.
3. THE COACH
A combination of cheerleader and challenger, the coach is someone who will look into your goals and find the flaws, but they will also help you find the right path to the solution. They are well versed in external opportunities and will point you in the right direction. Coaches are great people to have when they don't know you on a personal level. They tend to challenge you more and take a different perspective than a long term friend.
4. THE CONFIDANT
These are the people to have by your side through all your troubles. They are highly trustworthy and they know how to listen. They may not always have the solution or really understand your goals, but they are great for offloading your stresses and providing you with emotional support. Confidants are great people to have around when you are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, because they will make you feel heard and offer you the most support in a personal way.
These are the 4 classes of support that Paul McGee describes as being the structure of self confidence. Who are the people in your life that offer you support in your goals? And what class do they fall into? Is there an area that you may need more support? How can you find it?
Remember that at the end of the day, any kind of support can be seen in a positive light. The biggest challenge to our self confidence is often ourselves and the expectations we have to acheive certain goals or behave a certain way. But having the right support from the right friends at the right time can go a long way to helping us grow as people and increase our self confidence.
Dr. DeSouza shares new research and discoveries along her journey.